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Price 30 Cents 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Froe. 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, 2j| hrs (35c) 8 8 

Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 acts, 

2 hrs (35c) .15 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 4 4 

All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 

2^ hrs (35c) 6 10 

And Home Came Ted, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (50c) 6 6 

Arizona Cowboy, 4 acts, 2% 

hrs (35c) 7 5 

Assisted by Sadie, 4 acts, 2J4 

hrs (50c) 6 6 

As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

2y2 hrs (35c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts. 2^ hrs (35c) 6 14 

Betty's Last Bet, 3 acts, 2^ 

hrs (50c) 5 6 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hfs. 

(25c) '..9 3 

Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, IH hrs. 

(25c) '....17 

Boy Scouts' Good Turn, 3 acts, 

IVa hrs ...(25c) 16 2 

Busy Liar, 5 acts, 2^/^ h. (25c) 7 4 
Cabin Courtship, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 5 4 

Call of Wohelo, 3 acts, 1^ 

hrs (25c) 10 

Civil Service, 3 acts, 2^/4 hrs. 

(35c) 6 5 

Clubbing a Husband, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (35c) 12 

College Town, 3 acts, 2J4 

hrs (35c) 9 8 

Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. 

(35c) 5 5 

Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 6 4 

Dream of Queen Esther, 3 acts, 

2^ hrs (35c) 3 16 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 2^ hrs (35c) 6 13 

Early Bird, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(35c) 7 7 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr (2Sc) 10 

Empty House, 3 acts and epi- 
logue, 2J4 hrs (35c) 6 8 

Everyvouth, 3 acts, lYz h. (25c) 7 6 
Fifty-Fifty, 3 acts, 2% hrs. 

(50c) 5 5 

For the Love of Johnny, 3 

acts, 2^ hrs (50c) 6 3 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

VA hrs (30c) 9 14 

Fun Revue, 2 hrs (35c) Optnl. 

Gettin' Acquainted, 25 min. 

(35c) 1 2 

Gold Rug. 4 acts. 214 hrs..(Snc> 7 7 



M. >!. 

Her Honor, the Mayor, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (3Sc) 3 5 

High Brown Breach of Prom- 
ise, 1 hr (30c)16 

Indian Days, 1 hr ..(50c) 5 2 

In Hot Tamale Land, 2 acts, 

2 hrs (35c) 6 4 

Jayville Junction, IJ^ hrs. (30c) 14 17 
Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 

2J4 hrs (35c) 10 9 

Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 6 12 

Laughing Cntt, 2 acts, 154 hrs. 

(35c) 4 5 

Lie That Jack Built, 1 act, 30 

min (35c) 2 2 

Lighthouse Nan, 3 acts, 2J4 

hrs t35c) 5 4 

Little Clodhopper, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (3Sc) 3 4 

Mary's Millions, 3 acts, 2]^ 

hrs (50c) 5 6 

Mirandy's Minstrels. ... (30c) Optnl. 
Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytov/n, 3 

acts, 214 hrs (35c) 4 7 

My Irish Rose, 3 acts, 25^ hrs. 

(3Sc) 6 6 

Old. Maids, 3 acts, 2 hrs... (50c) 5 8 
Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

1% hrs (30c) 12 9 

Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 

hrs ...(35c) 4 4 

Prairie Rose. 4 acts, 254 h.(35c) 7 4 
Real Thing After All, 3 acts, 

2J4 hrs (35c) 7 9 

Royal Cut-Up, 2 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 7 3 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2^4 

hrs (3Sc)1012 

Ruth in a Rush, 3 acts, 2}4 

hrs (35c) 5 7 

Safety First, 3 acts, 

2'^ hrs (35c) 5 5 

Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 7 

Spell of the Image, 3 acts, 2^4 

hrs (35c)10 10 

Star Bright, 3 acts, 25/^ h. (35c) 6 5 
Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 25^ 

hrs (35c) 9 16 

Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 2^4 hrs. 

(35c) 6 18 

Trip to Storyland, 1% hrs.(2Sc)17 23 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 7 10 

Way Down Along, Prologue 

and 2 acts, 2 hrs (35c) 7 3 

When Smith Stepped Out, 3 

acts, 2 hrs (50c) 4 4 

When the Clock Strikes Twelve, 

3 acts, 21/2 hrs ..(35c) 8 20 

Whose Little Bride Are You? 

3 acts, 2y2 hrs (50c) 5 5 

Winning Widow, 2 acts, 1J4 hrs. 

(25c) 2 4 

Zaraeueta. 2 acts. 2 hrs.. . (3Sc) 7 4 



T. S. DENISON & COMPAN Y,Publishers. 623 S. Wabash Ave. .Chicaso 



THE 
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

A HUMOROUS ENTERTAINMENT 



BY 

MAYME RIDDLE BITNEY 

AUTHOR OF 

'Humorous Monologues," "Monologues for Young Folks," "Fun 

on the Podunk Limited," "The Third Degree" 

"The Light Brigade," etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 
Publishers 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

FOR EIGHT MALES AND TWELVE FEMALES. 



CHARACTERS. 
(In the order of their appearance.) 

Miss Melvina Mullins Country School Ma'am 

Henry Hawkins ■ . .A Backward Schoolboy 

Mrs. Hawkins : Henry's Ma 

MiLLY Simpson Half of the Tivins 

Tilly Simpson The Other Half 

Mrs. Simpson Their Ma 

Caleb Boggs A Hustling Student 

Jason Boggs His Bashful Brother 

Mrs. Potter A Cautious Mother 

Tommy Potter Her Delicate Child 

Mrs. Gunn 4n Impressive Parent 

Cora Gunn Her Precocious Pet 

Mrs. Wilcox lohnn/s Talkative Ma 

Johnny Wilcox Headed for College 

Peter Jenkins 1 

Sarah Jenkins lust a Few of 

Rosy Jenkins f The Jenkins Family 

Josh Jenkins j 

Annie Tibbetts A Real Bright Gal 

Ole Olson He Ban Yiist In Time 



Place — A Country Schoolroom. 



Time — Opening Day of the District School. 



Time of Playing — About Thirty Minutes 



COPYRIGHT, 1922, BY MAYME RIDDLE BITNEY. 
2 

* • " ©CI.D (517:i8 



TMP92-008649 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 



COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS. 

All the characters should be played by adult persons, 
dressed in old-fashioned country clothes. All the mothers 
except Mrs. Gunn wear everyday dresses, odd hats and 
eccentric wraps. The pupils all dress as children, the boys 
wearing knee-breeches or trousers halfwa> to the ankles, 
with bright stockings. Some of the pupils may bring lunch 
pail, box or basket. 

Miss Mullins is a typical old maid school ma'am, with 
corkscrew curls, spectacles, bright skirt of one color and 
waist O'f another, bright ribbon sash, jewelry. 

The Hawkinses are very rustic. 

Mrs. Simpson is fat and smiling. 

MiLLY and Tilly should be girls of good size, dressed 
alike in white with bright sashes and hair-ribbons. Their 
hair is worn in braids. The two should be as much alike as 
possible, in size and complexion as well as in costume. 

Caleb is short and fat. 

Jason, his older brother, is tall, slender and very bashful. 
His hair is parted in the middle, his coat is too tight and 
his pants are too short. 

Mrs. Potter is small and sHght. 

A big, fat, bald-headed man will make a hit as Tommy, 
her son. He should wear a ruffled waist with large collar, a 
large bright bow tie, and loud stockings. 

Mrs. Gunn tries to be verv^ impressive, and is loudly 
dressed. 

Cora is prim and well dressed. 

Mrs. Wilcox is tall and thin. 

Johnny should be a good-sized man, but should dress 
and act as if he were about seven. 

The Jenkins children are of various sizes, and very coun- 
trvfied'in dress and manner. 



4 THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

Annie is tall, overgrown and rather "simple." •She wears 
slouchy clothes, including a rather long skirt, a short, old- 
fashioned waist and a funny apron. Her hair is done in a 
pigtail with a large bow at the back. A hair switch of the 
same shade as her own is lightly fastened to this bow, so 
that it will come off easily when Johnny pulls it. She wears 
a sunbonnet, which she does not remove until she has been 
in the schoolroom for several minutes. 

Ole is a lanky, grinning, good-natured Swede. He wears 
overalls which are shrunk halfway up to his knees, cotton 
jacket, red handkerchief around his neck. He should have 
light hair and very healthy red cheeks. 



REMARKS. 



Since a great deal depends on the novelty of the costumes 
as well as the acting of the players, due attention should be 
paid to getting effective garments. 

Keep up the action constantly. Have all entrances made 
promptly, and do not allow the performance to drag at any 
point. 

The pupils ma}^ be permitted to do a few amusing side 
stunts, but never in a manner to detract attention from the 
performers who are speaking. Some of the pupils may eat 
from their lunch pails on the sly. Others may ''pass notes," 
and indulge in the other bits of by-play characteristic of 
school life. 

The entertainment is so devised that it can be presented 
on any platform, without special scenery or properties. The 
list of performers may be easily lengthened or reduced. 
Additional specialties may be introduced, or substituted for 
those that are suggested. 

"The First Day of School" is recommended for any occa- 
sion where a wholesome, humorous entertainment is desired, 
and if it is sufficiently rehearsed and the parts are well taken, 
it will go with a rush from start to finish. Wliile designed 
for use with an adult cast, it may be presented with juvenile 
talent if desired. 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 5 

ACCESSORIES. 

Clock,, bell, mirror, books for children, dinner pails, apple 
for Tommy, tack for Henry, crayon for drawing and writ- 
ing. There should be several picture books on the desk 
which the teacher can give to Tommy, Johnny and the 
others to look at, when she seats them. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

Up stage means away from footlights ; dozvn stage, near 
footlights. In the use of right and left, the actor is sup- 
posed to be facing the audience. 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 



Scene: A country schoolroom. Only one door or en- 
trance is used, and it may be located zt^herever convenient. 
At the back of the stage is a blackboard, zinth chalk and' 
erasers. Tzvo or three maps or cheap colored pictures can 
adorn the ztnlls. The teacher's desk or table, zmtJi chair 
back of it, is dozvn stage, either right or left. A zmter pail 
and dipper are on a stool at the back of the room. There 
should be cither a clothes rack, or else a rozv of pegs or 
hooks on the zvall. Cracked mirror on zvall. The chairs or 
benches for the pupils* seats are in rozvs running up and 
dozi'n stage, so that the pupils sit sidezvays to the audience. 
There should be sufficient open space across the back of the 
stage, and across dozvn stage as well, to allozu for the action 
of the entertainment. 

Lively "kid'' music, such as "Mud Pie Days," may ac- 
company the rise of the curtain. 

As soon as the curtain is up. Miss Mullins enters. She 
carries a small clock, a bell, a dinner pail and some books. 

Miss M. {to herself). Well, I'm here very early, but I 
like to have plenty of time the first day of school. {Hangs 
up hat, puts clock and other articles on desk, etc.) How 
dcWghtinX to have school begin again. I do love the dear 
little folks. They are so inter^^^ing, and so — so fascinating. 
I wouldn't teach school if it weren't for the nice children. 
I do hope they will all love m,e very much. I am quite sure 
they learn better when they love their teacher. {Discovers 
the cracked mirror on the zvall. Stands before it and primps, 
then goes to her desk.) Now I am ready to welcome the 
dear children when they arrive. 

Mrs. Hawkins and Henry enter. She is leading him by 

the hand. 

Mrs. H. Good mornin'. I s'pose you're the new 

6 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 7 

teacher. (Stands and looks Miss M. over. Miss M. bozvs 
and smiles.) I'm Mis' Hawkins, and I've brung my boy to 
start school. (Shakes hands awkwardly zvith Miss M.) 

Miss M. How very nice. What is his name? 

Mrs. H. (to Henry). Wal, speak up an' tell the teacher 
what's your name. 

Henry (in lout voice). Hank. 

Mrs. H. Now, she can't hear that. Speak up like you've 
got life 'nough to kill a miskeeter. 

Henry (in loud voice). Hank. 

Mrs. H. No, no! "Henry." 

Henry (louder). No, no. Henry. 

Miss M. (shakes hands zvith him). Well, Henry, I hope 
we shall think a great deal of each other and get along very 
well. ^ 

Mrs. H. Now, teacher, look here. I don t want Hank- 
that is, Henry— foolin' 'way his time. I'm sendin' him to 
school 'to larn, an' I want 'im teached somethin' new all the 
time. Mebbe he can't be kep' in school many years, an' I 
want 'im to make hay while the sun shines. 

Miss M. Of course. 

Henry Maw, I didn't know's they made hay to school. 
I thought they larnt. 

Mrs. H. (shaking finger at him). Teacher knows what 
I mean. Now, you behave all day an' have somethin' to tell 
me that you've larnt when vou come home to-night. None 
o' your diddledawlin', young man. Now, teacher, I got 
to ^o home an' see to bakin' my bread. Some night you 
drop home with Hank— that is Henry— an' take supper with 
us. (They shake hands, say good-bye, etc. Mrs. H. goes 

out.) , . , . , • 1 . :) 

Henry. Teacher, do I haft to begin larnm right now .^ 
Miss M. No, not until school takes up. (Henry sits at 
front bench.) ^ 

Enter Mrs. Simpson, zvith Milly and Tilly. 
Mrs S How-do-do. You the new teacher? (Miss M. 
bozvs, etc.) Wal, girls, this is her. I'm Mis' S\m^^son (shakes 
hands). I've fetched my twins over to have em start school. 



8 THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

I like to know they git a good startin' out. Girfs, make 
your manners. (Girls bow.) 

Miss M. (shaking hands with tunns). Oh, isn't it nice 
to have twins come to school! I think it's c^clightful to be 
twins. What are your names? 

Mrs. S. Wal, tell teacher your names, an' no foolin'. 

MiLLY (szvinging her skirt, and grinning). I'm Milly an' 
she's Tilly. 

Tilly (doing the same). I'm Tilly an' she's Milly. 

MiLLY (pointing). An' she's Tilly an' I'm Milly. 

Tilly (pointing). An' she's Milly an' I'm Tilly. 

Miss M. (bewildered). Oh, yes, you're — (looks from 
one to o titer). 

Milly (rapidly).. I'm Milly an' she's Tilly. 

Tilly (rapidly). I'm Tilly an' she Milly. 

Milly. She's Tilly an' I'm Milly. 

Tilly. She's Milly an' I'm Tilly. 

Mrs. S. (pushing Milly to one side.) That's Milly. 
(Pushes Tilly to other side.) An' that's Tilly. They're 
awful good girls, an' you won't have a mite o' trouble with 
'em. Some of the younguns in this deestrick acts jes* ter- 
rible, but Milly an' Tilly has been brought up to behave. 
I alius tell 'em if they don't behave to school they're goin' 
to git a good spankin' to home. But they won't need no 
spankin', 'cause they behave good. Now (sJiakes finger at 
them), you heerd me tell teacher you're goin' to behave. 

Milly. Yes, maw. 

Tilly. Yes, maw. 

Mrs. S. I thought I'd come over with 'em this mornin' 
an' tell you that you wouldn't have no trouble with 'em, 
but that they's some o' these children that acts up awful. 
An' them that acts up, don't you be 'fraid to lick 'em. It's 
what they need. Now, teacher, I got to go, 'cause I got a 
bunch o' men to cook dinner for. Don't you be 'fraid to 
come over some day to a meal. Mebbe I ain't a very good 
cook, but they ain't nothin' poison. (With a good-bye to 
teacher and girls, she exits.) 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 9 

Miss M. Well, now — {looks Jicsitatingly at one twin, 
then at the other). 

MiLLY {rapidly). Tin Milly an' she's Tilly. 

Tilly {rapidly). I'm Tilly an' she's Milly. 

MiLLY. She's"' Tilly an' I'm Milly. 

Tilly. She's Milly an' I'm Tilly. 

Miss M. Well, children, you sit down until some more 
of the children get here. 

(Milly and Tilly sit behind Henry.) 

Caleb enters, leading Jason by the hand. 

Caleb {stands grinning at teacher). Mornin'. 

Miss M. Oh, good morning. These are some more of 
my nice new pupils, are they not? I'm glad to see you. 
What are your names? 

Caleb. I'm Caleb Boggs. {Pulls Jason's hand.) Tell 
teacher what your name is. (Jason grins bashfully and 
shakes his head.) You know maw said she'd wallop you if 
you didn't speak up to teacher. (Jason hides back of 
Caleb and shakes his head.) He's bashful. He's awful easy 
skeert of women. {To Jason.) Now you be good an' tell 
teacher your name. (Jason shakes Jiis head.) Come on, 
now, an' be good, like maw said as how to. 

Miss M. {coaxing). Oh, now, don't be scared of teacher. 
I like little boys very much. We're going to think lots of 
each other. Tell me what your name is. (Jason acts very 
inucJi frightened and shakes his head.) 

Milly {giggles). Oh, he's growed up awful tall. 

Tilly (giggles). Don't dare open his mouth at all. {Both 

Miss M. How old are you? 

Caleb. I'm eight, teacher, an' brother, he's ten. But he's 
alius been awful skeert o' women an' I ain't skeert a-tall. 

Miss M. {to Jason). You mustn't be scared of me. 
(Starts to put her hand on Jason's shoulder. He jumps 
around and hides back of Caleb.) 

Jason {terrified). D-d-don't let 'er git me, Caleb! 



10 THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

Tilly and Milly {giggle and point fingers). 'Fraid cat, 
'fraid cat ! 

Miss M. Well, you boys sit down, and after awhile, when 
he finds out how nice teacher is, he won't be afraid. 

(Caleb and Jason sit with pupils.) 
Caleb {to Jason). I'm goin' to tell maw on you, I be. 
Henry. Say, Caleb, you oughter brung a bottle long for 
him, he's sech a baby. (Laughs.) 

Milly and Tilly. Te, he, he! Such a baby! (Giggle.) 
Miss M. Children, children ; don't tease him. 

Mrs. Potter and Tommy enter. 

Mrs. p. Good mornin', teacher. (Shakes hands zinth 
Miss M.) I s'pose my little Tommy might have come alone, 
but I thought as how I might's well come 'long an' see first 
ofif what the new teacher looks like. You know, I think 
they's quite a little in how a teacher looks, 'bout whether 
the children likes her. 

Miss M. Oh, yes, indeed, '\ly pupils always like me 
very much. 

Mrs, p. Wal, now, you don't say! Wal, wal! But 
then, looks is quite often deceivin'. Yes, this is Tommy. 
(Miss M. shakes hands ivith Tommy.) Wal, Tommy, say 
somethin' to teacher. Don't stan' there like a bump on a 
log an' make 'er think you can't talk. 

Tommy (stammers). I — I — teacher, I got a red calf — to 
home. (Twists and grins.) 

Miss M. Oh, isn't that nice. A. red calf. • 

Mrs. p. Now teacher, Tommy is an awful delicate little 
boy. He's tall, but you can see he don't look very rugged, 
an' I hope you'll take real good care of 'im. He's real easy 
to git sick an' have spells. Sometimes he can't eat hardly 
nothing 'cause he don't feel good. Pve alius watched over 
'im awful careful an' I hope you'll do the same, I want 
'im to be larnt but I hope you won't let 'im study too 
hard. H he gits real tired out, couldn't you let 'im take a 
little nap? I went to school to an awful kind teacher once 
that let the little ones take naps in school. 



J 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 11 

Miss M. Well — why, really, I don't know where he could 
sleep. 

Mrs. p. Shucks! Couldn't you put your jacket down on 
a bench for 'im to sleep on? 

Miss M. Well — dear me. I hate to get my jacket all 
wrinkled. 

Mrs. p. Good Ian' sakes, I guess a little fellow like 
Tommy wouldn't hurt it none ! 

Tommy (yawns and rubs his eyes). Maw, Fm sleepy 
right now. 

Mrs. p. Oh, no. Now, Tommy, you ain't sleepy yet. 
You hain't hardly been up any time a-tall. School's goin' 
to take up by-an'-by, an' maybe teacher'll tell you a story 
'bout a nice little boy. 

Tommy. I want to hear a story 'bout a red calf. 

Henry. Teacher, I want to hear a story 'bout a bear. 

Milly. Oh, teacher, won't you tell a story 'bout Injuns? 

Tilly. An' have 'em scalp somebody, teacher. 

Tommy. Maw, I want to go home with you. 

Mrs. p. No, Tommy, you've got to stay an' git larnt 
something. Here's your nice apple. (Gives him an apple 
from her poekef.) 

Tommy (sobs). I don't — want to — git — scalped by Injuns. 

Mrs. p. Now, don't worry. Teacher won't let the Injuns 
hurt you, not a bit. You mus' be maw's brave little boy. 
(Aside to Miss M.) Now, you see, teacher, you have to be 
awful careful with the little fellow an' not let 'im git nerv- 
ous, or he'll be sick. 

Miss M. I see. Fll do the best I can, I promise you. 

Mrs. p. I wish I could stay an' see Tommy git larnt 
something, but I've got to trot home an' do up the breakfast 
dishes. Now, Tommy, you do just what teacher says, an' 
be good so teacher'll like you. Good-bye, teacher. Good- 
bye, Tommy, an' be maw's nice little boy. (Exit.) 

(During the above scene, Milly has been teasing Jason.) 

Caleb (to Milly). Now, you let him alone an' quit pick- 
in' on 'im or I'll hit you in the face. 



12 THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

Miss M. Oh, oh, my! Don't talk Hke that. 

Caleb. Well, she's a-teasin' my brother an' she's got to 

quit. 

MiLLY. I wasn't teasin' him, teacher. I was only tryin' 
to make him tell me his name, so now. (Makes face at 
Caleb.) 

Tommy (who is still standing). Teacher, where can I 
set me down? (Miss M. puts him in a seat by himself.) 
I'm sleepy. 

Miss M. Oh, no, you aren't sleepy yet. Tommy. (He 
starts to eat his apple.) 

Henry. Teacher, ain't it time for school to begin? 

Miss M. No, not yet. You got here real early. 

(Tilly and Milly cross over and sit by Tommy. First 
one, and then the other, keeps taking his apple and biting it.) 

Mrs. Gunn and Cora e^nter. 

^Irs. G. Good morning, teacher. Is this you? I'm Mrs. 
Gunn an' I am glad to enjoy your acquaintance. I came 
over to bring Cora because she was a little disinclinationed 
to come alone on the first morning. Cora, this is teacher. 
Be glad to git acquainted with her. 

Cora (bows). I'm glad to git acquainted, teacher. 

(Miss M. shakes hands zvith them.) 

Tommy (cries). Boo-hoo-hoo! Boo-hoo-hoo ! 

(Milly and Tilly slip back to their ozvn seats.) 

Miss M. Tommy, what's the matter? (He sobs.) Tell 
teacher what's the matter, Tommy. 

Tommy. They et my apple till it's all gone. (Sobs.) 

Miss M. Why, why, girls, how naughty! (Looks at 
Milly.) Tilly, that was very bad. 

Milly. I'm Milly an' she's Tilly. 

Tilly. I'm Tilly an' she's Milly. 

Milly. She's Tilly an' I'm Millv. 

Tilly. She's Milly an' I'm Tilly. 

Mrs. G. Some children in this district are very dilapidated 
in their etiquetical behavior, teacher. 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 13 

Tilly. Teacher, maw says if Mis' Gunn don't stop shoot- 
ing off big words she'll hurt herself some day. 

Mrs. G. Teacher, I hope you will apply chastisement in 
the cases where it is plainly necessary. I am thankful my 
Cora never needs correcting. You will find her very bright, 
too, teacher. She takes after my family that way, teacher. 
My folks has been real hands tO' acquire learning. Her 
father's side of the house leaned more to manual occupations 
— not but what they are splendiferous people, teacher. I 
am quite sure Cora is going to be a fine student. She can 
spell "cat" already. Cora, spell "cat" for teacher. Spell 
"cat." 

Cora {after deep thought). C — o — w. 

Mrs. G. Oh, you thought I said to spell "cow," didn't 
you? Well, that was right. Didn't she spell "cow" finely, 
teacher? I hope you will be very careful to have her acquire 
knowledge. Now, teacher, I am so pressed: with occupations 
that I must take my departure. Good-bye. (Exit.) 

MiLLY. Teacher, if she had left her departure here, 'stead 
of takin' it, what would it look like? Is it somethin' to 
eat? 

Tommy. Teacher, I want some departure to eat. I'm 
hungry. 

Mrs. Wilcox and Johnny enter. 

Mrs. W. Well, here we be, teacher. I thought ma}be 
we'd be late, but I couldn't git here a minute sooner with all 
I had to do this mornin'. At the last minute the old hog 
got int' the garden an' we had to chase him. Then Johnny, 
here, dropped his bread an' molasses ont' his waist an' I 
had to wait an' scrub off the spot. Lan' sakes, I'm mos' 
petered out. 

Miss M. Sit down and rest a while. It isn't quite time 
to take up school. Every one came early this rnorning. 

(During the next speech Milly and Tilly go to the board 
and draw a comical picture and iirite ''teacher" by it. The 
other children giggle, then the tzuins erase it.) 

Mrs. W. (sits in teacher's chair). I s'pose you'll have a 



14 THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

time^ teacher, gittin' Johnny to stay to school. He 3on't Hke 
the idee of school though I don'-t see why, 'cause his paw 
liked school fine an' once won a prize for standin' good in his 
class, an' I used to mos' bawl my eyes out if I had to miss 
school. I'm dreatful put out ^vith Johnny, for I've made 
up my mind I want him to be a perfesser in a college. He 
can, jes' as well's not. There was a college perfesser 
stopped to our house one smnmer, an* hones'-to-goodniss, 
he didn't know nothin'. Why, teacher, he didn't know how^ 
long a hen had to set on eggs to hatch 'em, an' he didn't 
know how^ sauerkraut was made, an' one day I showed 'im 
a tgg my Injun runner duck had laid, an' I tole 'im a Injun 
runner laid it, an' he says, ''I've heard some o' the Injuns 
was great runners but, dear me, I never knew before that 
they laid eggs." My sakes, he didn't know hardly nothing, 
an' I've heerd tell of lots other of them college perfessers 
that's the same, so I know Johnny can git to be one. An' 
then, too, Johnny's an awful good forgitter, an' I've read 
'bout lots of the perfessers that is great hands to forgit 
things. You'll have to watch Johnny, teacher, or he'll for- 
git to learn his lessons. {During this time Johnny has stood 
by Jiis mother, holding to her skirt.) Now I s'pose I've got to 
mosey 'long home an' do some bakin', for Sim's brother 
Nathan an' his wife are comin' to visit an' Nathan does beat 
all the world to eat. He says he eats more than usual to our 
house, 'cause he likes my cookin' so well, but I guess he's 
jes' tryin' to excuse his terrible appytite. (Rises.) Now, 
Johnny, good-bye, an' be a nice little l)oy so's teacher'll like 
you. 

Johnny. Maw, I want to tell you somethin'. (Whis- 
pers to her.) 

Mrs. W. No, you can't go home with me. You've got 
to stay here an' learn to be a college perfesser. 

Miss. M. Oh, Johnny will stay with me. \Ye are going 
to have just a fine time in school. Teacher will tell a story. 

Mrs. W. Now, won't that be nice? 

(Miss M. takes Johnny by the hand and leads him over 
to a seat. Mrs. Wilcox starts out.) 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 15 

Johnny (runs after her and catches hold of her skirt). 
Maw, I want to go home. I — I — don't feel good. I'm 
sick. 

Mrs. W. Now you ain't sick, no more'n I be. You go 
back an' stay with teacher. 

('Miss M. takes his hand and leads him back to seat. 
When nearly there he breaks away from her, runs after 
his mother and catches her skirt.) 

Johnny. Maw, say, I — I — my tooth aches. 

(The other children watch him and giggle, whispering 
things about him behind their hands.) 

Mrs. W. Now, young man, your tooth don't ache no 
more'n mine does. You quit this foolin' an' go to behavin'. 
What'U teacher think of you ? 

(Miss M. takes him by the hand again and starts toward 
a seat. Mrs. Wilcox exits.) 

Johnny (calling). Maw, maw, I — I'm hungry! 

Miss M. Now, Johnny, you be a nice little boy and sit 
here and I'll give you a cookie. (Puts him in a seat.) 

Tommy (loudly). Teacher, I want a cookie, too. 

Tilly (eagerly). Oh, teacher, can't me'n Milly have a 
cookie, too? We had to come to school so early we didn't 
hardly git much breakfas'. 

Cora (politely). If you please, teacher, I'd be pleased 
to have a cookie too, please. (Addresses the twins scorn- 
fidly.) I asked politer'n you did. 

Milly. Huh ! I guess we can say "Please teacher please 
gimme a please cookie, please," too, if we want to. That 
ain't nothin', an' our dress is purtier'n your'n, so! (The 
twins make faces at Cora.) 

(Jason has been zvhispering to Caleb.) 

Caleb. Teacher, my brother says he'll tell you his name 
if you'll give him a cookie. 

Henry. Shucks, ain't you any of you got no manners? 
Teacher ain't got cookies 'nough to give all you hungry 



16 THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

birds one. Besides, 'tain't time to eat till recess time. 
(MiLLY reaches over and pinches Henry.) Ouch! Now, 
you quit that, now. Til lambast you one in the mug. (Tnins 
make faces at him, other children giggle.) 

Miss M. Oh, oh, now, children, teacher won't love you 
if you talk so naughty. 

Peter, Sarah, Rosy and Josh Jenkins enter, carrying 
hooks, dinner pails, etc. 

Henry. Hello, Pete. 

MiLLY. Peter, Peter, pun'kin eater — 

Tilly. Had a wife an' couldn't keep her. (Tzvins gig- 
gle.) 

Peter. Milly, Tilly, fat an' silly. 

Miss M. Oh, good morning. You are some more of 
my nice pupils, aren't you? Pm very glad to see you. 
(Shakes hands with them.) What are your names? 

Peter. Pm Peter Jenkins, an' she's (points to Sarah) — 

Sarah {interrupting). Don't you tell 'er my name. I 
guess I can tell it my own self, smarty. {To Miss M.) I'm 
Miss Sarah Jenkins. (Bows.) Pm twelve years old an' I 
can read in the fourth reader. An' this is my sister — 

Rosy (interrupting) . Now, Sarah, you shut up. I can 
tell teacher my name jes' as good as you can. (To Miss M.) 
My name is Rosy. Some folks thinks I was named after 
the rose flowers, but I wasn't, 'cause I was named Rosy 
after my aunt Rosy Stebbins. 

Peter (pointing). An' this is our brother Joshua, but 
we all call 'im Josh fer short. They's another one of us to 
come to school, but maw said to tell you he tore his pants so 
bad yisterday that she hadn't got 'em mended yet an' so 
he won't be able to start till tomorrer. 

Sarah. Maw said to tell you she hoped you'd please 
excuse him for bein' absence, an' she'll try an' git 'im re- 
seated today an' if you'll save a seat for 'im he'll start to- 
morrer. 






THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 17 

Miss M. That will be all right. I'm glad your mother 
has such a nice large family to send to schooL 

(Josh whispers to Peter.) 

Peter. Teacher, Josh can speak a piece, an' he wants to 
say it to you. 

Miss M. Well, he may say it right now. Listen, children, 
and hear the nice piece Joshua is going to speak for us. 
Now speak loudly, Joshua, so we can all hear. 

Josh (after fussing and tzvisting mid making several 
bows). 

Mary had a little ba-ba-ba ; 
He tagged after her to school 
An' made the children ha-ha-ha. 

(He giggles and all the rest laugh.) 

Miss M. That was very nice. Now you all find seats, 
because it is almost time to take up school. (They take 
seats.) 

Annie Tibbetts enters. 

Annie. Be you the teacher? \\'al, maw said I could 
come to school if I wanted to an' if I liked the teacher I 
could stay an' larn something. (Looks Miss M. over.) I 
dunno's I want to stay, an' I dunno's they's much fer me 
to larn, anyhow. 

Miss M. Can you read nicely? 

Annie. Wal, I can read all the words of one letter jes' 
fine. 

Miss M. And can you add? 

Annie. I can add the ciphers all right, but the figgers 
bothers me pretty much. 

Miss M. Do you know geography ? 

Annie. Joggerphy? What's that? 

MiLLY (eagerly). Oh, teacher, teacher. 1 know what it's 
about. It's like, '*A pen-in-suler is a narrow necktie of land 
joinin' together two larger pieces of land." 

Sarah. Teacher, please, I know what geography is. It's 
a descripting of the earth's surface. 



18 THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

Tilly (laughs). Oh, ho, oh, ho! Smarty ?• (Mocks 
Sarah.) "A descript-ing of" — 

Miss M. Now, children, it is almost time for the bell to 
ring, and — 

Ole Olson enters, running. 

Ole. I ban ranning yust as fast like lightning so I skall 
not ban come late. Skall I ban here? 

Miss M. Why, yes, you seem to be here. 

Ole. I mean, skall I ban here in times so I ain't ban 
tardy mark? 

Miss M. Yes, you got here just in time. 

Ole (looking teacher over). Skall you ban the teacher? 

Miss M. Yes, I hope we shall be good friends. 

Ole. Oh, I tank I skall ban liking you purty good. My 
oncle, Yens Yenson, he want I skall ban learning lot so I 
ban smart feller. 

Miss M. How old are you? 

Ole. Oh, I ban born yust same time my cousin Yerda 
Yenson was. Yerda ban purty big girl now. 

Miss M. But how old are you? 

Henry. He's fourteen, I'll bet, teacher. 

Ole. Dat hain't ban no such t'ings, teacher. Last year 
I ban twelve year old. Dis year I ban one year more, so 
you skall see I ain't ban no fourteens. (To Miss M.) How 
old you ban, teacher ? 

Miss M. (embarrassed) . Oh, I — well, that is — you see, 
children, it is time for school to take up. You may all pass 
out of doors, and when I ring the bell you must see how 
nicely you can march in and take your seats. 

Ole. Where you wants we skall take 'em to, teacher? 

Miss M. Take what? 

Ole. You say we skall take our seats. Where we ban 
goin' take 'em to? 

Miss M. You march in and do what you see the others 
do. 

Children all pass out. Miss M. rings the bell and they 
come marching in, Caleb leading Jason by the hand. 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 19 

Tommy is next to the last to come in. Henry, who has 
taken his seat, sits with his foot out and trips Tommy so he 
falls on the floor. Ole is last in line. When Tommy falls 
down Ole falls on top of him. Tommy begins to cry. 

Miss M. Oh, Tommy, that was too bad. {She helps him 
lip. He stands and cries.) Are you hurt? 

Tommy (stammers). Y-y-yes. (Sobs.) 

Miss M. Ole, what did you fall down for? The idea! 

Ole. Didn't you ban telling me I skaP do yust like I see 
others do? 

Miss M. Well, you get up and sit down. (Ole taJ^es 
seat.) Tommy, I'm very sorry. I guess you'll be all right 
soon if you sit down. 

Tommy. Teacher, won't you hold me on your lap ? Maw 
always holds me when I git hurt. 

Miss M. (confused). Oh — oh, my, Tommy — really, now, 
teacher can't do that. You go sit in your seat and you'll be 
all right. Tommy. 

Tommy (sobs). Teacher, can't you kiss me? Maw al- 
ways kisses me when I git hurt. (Children laugh.) 

Miss M. Why, — Oh, my, Tommy, teacher can't do that ! 
If I kiss you I'll have to kiss all the boys and girls and 
you know I mustn't do that. I haven't time. You sit down 
like a good boy. (He sits.) Now, dear boys and girls, this 
is our first day of school, and I am very glad to see so many 
f.ne, nice-looking children here. 

Tilly. Teacher, Milly an' me's better-lookin' than she is. 
(Points to Cora.) 

Cora. No, ma'am ; no ma'am ; they ain't neither. 

Tilly and Milly (together). Yes, ma'am; yes, ma'am. 

Ole. I tank I skall ban purty good-lookin', too 

Miss M. Now, children, let us sing a nice song. Let 
us sing, 'The Bear Came Over the Mountain." 

(Jason whispers to Caleb.) 

Caleb. Teacher, can't we sing somethin' else? Jason, 
he's awful skeert of bears an' he don't want to sing 'bout 
'em. 



20 THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

Miss M. All right. We'll sing, 'The Cow Wdht Over the 
Mountain." Now, all sing as sweetly as possible, children, 
and let us see how nice we can make our first song. 

Sarah. Teacher, I don't know 'bout that cow that went 
over the mountain. What'd she go over for? 

Miss M. She went over to see what she could see. 

Sarah. Well, what'd she see? 

Miss M. The other side of the mountain was all that she 
could see. Well, children dear, we'll sing something else. 
We'll sing the song called, *'Good Morning To You." (She 
uiakes several attempts to get them started, heating time, 
reproving the silent ones, etc., before the song gets under 
way. ) 

Children (sing). 

Good morning to you, 
Good morning to you. 
Good morning dear teacher, 
Good morning 'to you. 

(TJie children get mixed up during the singing. Some 
of the younger ones do not keep np zmth the others. Tommy 
comes O'Ut strong once in a zMle zmth a word that the others 
have just sung. Ole mispronounces the words, the twins 
giggle, etc.) 

Miss M, (after the song). That was real fine, children. 
Now, Tommy and Joshua may go to the board and learn to 
write. (She goes to the blackboard and writes the zvord 
"cat," and Tommy and Josh go to the board.) Now, 
the fourth reader class may recite, and the rest of you may 
study. 

(During the ensuing dialogue Tommy and Josh try to 
copy the zvord she has zvritten, after zvhicJi they drazv comic 
pictures.) 

Peter (zvaving Iiis hand in the air). Teacher, kin I git 
a drink? 

Miss M. Yes, if you are very quiet. 



1 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 21 

(Peter goes to zmter pail and while he is gone Henry 
puts a tack on the seat.) 

Miss M. I want the fourth reader class to have a piece 
ready to read to me. I want to see how nice you can read. 

(Peter comes back, sits and then jumps up with a loud 
yell) 

Peter. O-o-w ! 

Miss M. Oh, my! Oh, mercy! What is the matter? 

Rosy. Teacher, somebody put a tack on his ^seat. 

Miss M. Oh, how dreadful! Is it still on the bench? 

Peter. No, ma'am. It's in me, now. 

Sarah. No, teacher, it fell off ontuh the floor. 

Miss M. I shall deal with the one who did this after 
school to-nig-ht. Now we will have the fourth reader class. 
Stand. Pass. 

(Peter, Sarah, Milly, Tilly and Ole rise at the com- 
mand and come forz^'ard i^^ith their reading books, forming 
a line across the front of the stage.) 

Miss M. Peter, you may read first. 

Peter (ti'ith difficulty). ''Hear — the — sled — sled" — Oh, 
I know, "Hear the sledges with the bells, silver bells ! What 
a world of — mur — mur — " I mean "merry — merry — merri- 
ment their mel — mell — melody foretells! How they — " 

Miss M. (interrupting). Peter, I don't think you are 
well prepared with that selection. 

Peter. Oh, I can read it fine when it gets down where it 
says "bells, bells, bells, bells, bells — " 

Miss M. Never mind. Sarah, you may read next. 
Sarah (reads in sing-song voice). 

"The breaking waves dashed high 

On a stern and rock-bound coast, 
And the woods against a stormy sky 

Their giant branches tossed. 
And the heavy night — " 
Miss M. (interrupting). Wait a minute, Sarah. Can't 
you put more expression in it? 



22 THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

Sarah. Yessum (as lifelessly as before). 
**And the heavy night hung, dark, 
The hills and waters o'er. 
When a band of exiles — " 
Miss M. (interrupting). Sarah, do you know the mean- 
ing of the word "exile"? 
Sarah. Y'essum. 
Miss M. Well, what is an exile? 
Sarah. An exile is what a wheel goes around on. 
Miss M,. (looking at Milly). Now, Tilly, you may 
read. 

Milly. Tm Milly an' she's Tilly. 
Tilly. I'm Tilly an' she's Milly. 
Milly. She's Tilly an' I'm Milly. 
Tilly. She's Milly an' I'm Tilly. 
Miss M. Well, Milly, then. Y'ou may read. 
Milly (zmth fast and heavily emphasij::ed rhythm, reads). 
''Up from the inead-o\vs rieh with corn. 
Clear in the cool Stptemher morn. 
The eliisttrtd spires of Frederick stand, 
Green-walled by the hills of MarA'land. 
Round about them orchards sweep," 
Henry »(interntpfs in same tone of voice). Oh, gee-whiz, 
my foofs asleep! 

IMiss M. (to Henry). Henry, you will have to stay after 
school to-night. (To Tillie.) Now, Milly, — er, Tilly, — er 
— well, the other twin may read. 

Tilly (very slowly and dramatically, reads). 
''England's sun was slowly setting o'er the hills so far away. 
Filling all the land with beauty at the close of one sad day. 
And the last rays kissed the forehead of a man and maiden 

fair. 
He with step so slow and weakened, she with sunny, float- 
ing hair. 
He with sad, bowed head and — " 
Miss M. Now, Milly— er, Tilly— er— well, that will do. 
Ole, let me hear you read. 



THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 23 

Ole {seriously and with great effort, reads haltingly). 
"Lis-ten, mai chirren, an* you skall hear 
Of de midniggit — midniggit — midnight ride of Paul Re- 
were. 
On de eighteen April, Sev'ty-fiwe, 
Har'ly a man iss now aliwe — " 
IMiss M. That is very good, Ole. Now that I have 
found how far advanced the fourth reader class is, I want 
to hear Annie and Rosy i nd Johnny and Caleb and Henry 
and Jason read. 

(Jason zvhispers to Caleb.) 

Caleb. Teacher, Jason doesn't want to read to-day. His 
liead aches. 

Miss M. Well, he may be excused. Stand. Pass. 

(Annie, Rosy, Johnny, Caleb and Henry, ivitJi their 
books, form a line aeross the front of tJie stage.) 

Miss M. Henry, you may read first. 

Henry (reads, very fast and without any expression). 
"Oh why should the spirit of mortal be proud 
Like a swift-flying meteor a fast-flying cloud 
A flash of the lightning a break of the wave 
Man passeth from life to his rest in the grave 
The leaves of the oak and the willow shall fade 
Be scattered around and together be — " 

(While Henry is reading the above. Johnny giz*es An- 
nie's hair a pull and the szviteh comes off in his hand. Hold- 
ing it out in front of him, he begins to cry loudly. Annie 
looks at it and also starts to zi'eep aloud, until Henry's 
voice is no longer audible.) 

Annie (boo-hoo-ing loudly). Oh, he's pulled off my hair. 
Johnny (badly scared, and crying). 0-o~h, teacher, I 
didn't mean to. I didn't mean to ! (Bawls.) 
Miss M. Oh, my! Oh, my! 
Sarah. He ought to have a good lickin'. 



24 THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 

{The other pupils chime in zvith a mixture of comments 
such- as, ''Yes, ma'am, he ought to." ''Look what Johnny 
did!" ''He ought to haze a lickinT "Johnny's goin' to 
catch it!" etc.) 

Johnny {weeping louder). I — didn't — mean — to! 

Miss M. {taking switch from Johnny). Well, children, 
you may have a recess and run out-of-doors to play for a 
while. I shall have to see what I can do to fix Annie's 
hair. 

Johnny {crying). Will she die? Will — she — die, teacher? 

Annie {slapping him). You didn't need to pull my 
maw's switch loose ! 

(Miss M. rings the hell. Children all make a mad rush 
for the door, shouting, "Recess! Recess!") 

CURTAIN. 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List off Successful and Popular Plays. Large Cataloeue Free 



FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 
Price 25 Cents Each 

M. F. 

All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 
Aunt Harriet's, Night Out, 35 

min 1 2 

Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 

35 min 11 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 
Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 

Doo-Funny Family, 1 hr. . 3 9 

Fun in Plioto Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 
Getting Rid of Father, 20 min. 3 1 

Goose Creek Line, 1 hr 3 10 

Great Pumpkin Case, 35 min.. 12 
Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

Ilonest Peggy, 25 min 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Irish Stew, 1 hr 6 4 

Just Like a Woman, 35 min... 3 3 

Me and Betty, 30 min 2 5 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min.... 8 
Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 
Mrs. Hoops-Hooper and the 

Hindu, 35 mm 12 

Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. 8 
Mrs. Stubbing' Book" Agent, 30 m. 3 2 
Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Paper Wedding, 30 min 1 5 

Pat's Matrimonial Venture, 25 

min 1 2 

Rummage Sale, 50 min. 4 10 

Sewing for the Heathen, 40 

min 9 

Shadows, 35 min 3 4 

Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 
Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 
Teacher Kin I Go Home, 35 

min 7 3 

Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min . . 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 
Watch, a Wallet, and a Jack of 

Spades, 40 min 3 6 

Whole Truth. 40 min 5 4 

Who's Crazv Now? 25 min 3 2 

Who's the Boss? 30 min 3 6 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 
Price 15 Cents Each 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 15 min.' 3 2 

Before the Play Begins, 15 

min 2 1 

Billy's Mishaps, 20 min 2 3 

Country Justice, 15 min 8 

Family Strike, 20 min....... 3 3 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 
Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 
Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 
Kansas Immigrants, 20 min.- . 5 1 
Pair of Lunatics, 20 min..... 1 1 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 



M. F. 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Smith's Unlucky Day, 20 min.. 1 1 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Those Red Envelopes, 25 min.. 4 4 
Troubled by Ghosts, 10 miii... 4 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 

Wanted: A Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES 
Price 25 Cents Each 

Amateur, 15 min 1 1 

At Harmony Junction, 20 min. 4 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min.. 2 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 

I'm a Nut, 10 min. 1 

It Might Happen, 20 min 1 1 

Little Miss Enemy, J 5 min.... 1 1 
Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 
]\Iarriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m; 2 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Curl's Moder, 10m. 1 
Quick Lunch Cabaret, 20 min.. 4 
School of Detecting, 15 min... 2 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Street Faker, IS min 3 

Such Ignorance, 15 min. ...... 2 

Sunny Son of Italy, 15 rain.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubles of Rozinski, IS min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 
Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 
Vait a Minute, 20 min 2 

BLACK-FACE PLAYS 
Price 25 Cents Each 

African Golf Club, 25 min 10 1 

Almost an Actor, 20 min 2 

Axin' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Battle of Roaring Bull, 30 min. .11 
Battle of Rollin' Bones, 30 min. 8 

Black Vamp, 15 min 2 2 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 

min 10 

Cash Money, 20 min 3 

Colored Honeymoon, 25 min... 2 2 
Coon Creek Courtship, 15 m... 1 1 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m. 14 

Dark Secret, 30 min 4 1 

Fu'st Aid to Cupid, 20 min... 3 2 
Good Mornin', Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 
Hitting the African Harp, 

15 min 2 

Hungry, 15 min 2 

Kiss Me, Camille, 20 min. 2 1 

Mysterious Suitcase, 15 min... 2 
Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed In 

Denison's Catalogue 



T. S. DEWISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 623S.Wabash Ave..Chtcago 



1-822 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



016 102 394 2 



The Doo-Funny Family 

By Marv Modena Burns. A novelty entertainment for school, club or church. 



The Doo-Funnies enact a drama upon a wall; like Humpty Durapty, some of 
them get a fall. Full of comedy enects and stunts that will surprise and amub«' 
the audience. Characters: The Witch, the Old Maid, Grandmaw, Lengthy Lizzie. 



TessJc Tubbs, Maw Doo-Funny, the Twins and Baby, Paw Doo-Funny, and the 
comical sons, Dumpty and Doughnut. May be given by adults or by boys and 
girls. Easy to get up and easy to act. 3 males, 9 females; 1 hour. 

Price. Postpaid, 25 Crnt>. 



Good Morning, Teacher 

By Frederick G. Johnscs. A schoolroom skirmish that, in real life, would 
be a tragedy. On the stage it is a riotous rough-house that breaks all speed 
records. Packed with brand new comedy business as well as snappy dialogue of 
the button-bursting variety. The pupils go to the blackboard in ragtime, they 
syncopate their work and their play, and the whole thing has a jarzy, jingly swing 
that is up-to-the-minute — and then some. 8 males, 3 females; 40 minutes. 
__^ Price, Postpaid, 25 Cenf . 



Happy School Days 

By Jessie A. Kelley. A new phase of the school entertainment that breaks 
away from the traditional setting of the little country school, and depicts instead 
the humorous trials of the city principal and the teachers of the grades. Intro- 
duces impish and fun-craving youngsters of many nationalities; their parents with 
ridiculous complaints and absurd ideas of our school system; janitor, truanfi 
officer, etc. More characters could be easily introduced; also drills, recitations, etc. 
The comic effect will be decidedly enhanced if played by prominent or elderly 
people. 14 males. 11 females: l'/4 hours. Price, Postpaid, 30 Cents. 



The Village Photographer 

By Arthur L. Rice. The village photographer is a shrewd philosopher, as 
well as a droll humorist, and employs the spirit of every-day Christianity in a 
practical way. Well known rural types — crusty "old bach," the town loafer, the 
sUge-struck girl, etc.— are effectively portrayed. Can be easily adapted to shorter 
cast, and specialties can be introduced. Easily produced; no scenery required- 
excellent for church societies. The leading part is frequently played by the 
minister, with great success. 7 m., 7 f. Time, 45 min. 

Price, Postpaid, 30 Cents. 



Sewing for the Heathen 

By Walter Bem Hare. An entertainment for ladies, either young or middle- 
aped. Can be played on any stage or platform, or even in any room. In this 
piece the feminine peculiarities and method of accomplishing things are very 
cleverly satirized. Yet the humor is so goodnatured that women will love it. 
Very refined. Suitable for church or any society. 9 females; 40 minutes. 
___________^ Price, Postpaid, 2S Cents. 

Riley Readings & Living Pictures 

Arranged by Laura Christine Wkgner. An entertainment with tableaux 
ntoiKHcf to honor the memory and make mifre familiar the writings of Tamos 
,^^ lied instructions for conducting a Riley Evening at ' club. 

Full directions for simple but pleasing scenic and light- 
1 po<-cs. w ttm»?s. arrangement of program. Includes, bv 

sitiw! .arranKcmcrns VK i Co complete text of ten famous RiK-v 

poem., as foirows: 'T-) "Granny." "A Life-Lesson," "GriggshyS 

?-•■ m"-..^ -^^ ^Jvl.'^^' • ^'Mc Ornhant Annie." "Our Hired 

Girl. ^^ Out to Old Aunt Marys." "The Raggedy Man." "The Name of Old 
Olory. Can be presented on any platform; scenery not es.sential. Characters 
and time, optional. Price, Postpaid, 36 Cents. 



T. S. OEWSON & COMPANY, PuMsfwrt, 623 South Wabash Avenue. CHICAGO 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 

mill 






016 102 394 2 



